Lovechild

First of all, let me say that I am blogging because my hubby is playing video games, hogging the TV. Not that we have cable....but I could be watching a movie, or Friends...besides the point.

BUT, I did have an idea for a blog for the 2 people out there who actually might read this. Nick and I have FIN-ALL-Y started the process of recording together. It's taken quite a bit of emotional unpacking for me, growing together for the two of us, and sheer determination to set aside every Friday and Saturday for the next however-long-it-takes to record together. I've been writing more songs in the past few weeks/months than I have in probably 2 years and I am excited and happy and loving it.
I mention "emotional unpacking" because this is a fresh start on a an old desire/passion/calling and it's taken some working-through to get to where I could stomach trying it again. Sometime over the past 5 years or so I became cynical and broken when it came to "making it" in the music business and just decided to peace-out on the idea all together. Unfortunately, I also peaced-out on the art of it all too. This is not a good way to live for someone who is innately creative, innately musical. I come alive during and after the writing of a song. I come alive during and following the performance of a song. It's getting there that's the hard part.
Now, I've got someone to hold my hand through it and tell me I don't suck when I get down on myself and feel like quitting. I've got a cheerleader. AND, the best part, is I have my own recording engineer, drummer, bass and guitar player, and vocalist ALL-IN-ONE!!! WOAH! It's pretty awesome. The most important part though is that I'm realizing it's not about whether everyone else likes what you put out there. There is no Right or Wrong. It's just art. It doesn't have to pay well.
Anyway, we're calling ourselves Lovechild. It came from a conversation that we had on our way up to Nashville earlier this year. I said, "any album of ours will sound like the lovechild of a rocker and a folk singer"...and the rest is history.

AND, did I mention I get to write and record a jingle for Tamaron Honda in Birmingham?!!?!?!?!? Well, it was actually Nick's gig he got from a drummer-friend of his that knows we have a studio, but I told him it would make my life if he would let me sing it!! And he said I could and I can't wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (If this doesn't happen I will be so depressed and eat a pint of icecream on my own). My hopes are up!

PS....here is our new myspace page. We should have a song or two up in the next week or so.
www.myspace.com/lovechildsongs

Maria Shriver-Shwarzenegger(sp?)

Yesterday afternoon while I was watching Chaz and Skylar, I landed on the Oprah show as I flipped through the channels. I had literally not seen 5 minutes of Oprah since probably 2006 which is funny to me since I used to LOVE watching Oprah. Anyway...she had Maria Shriver (whom I will refer to as MS)on as a guest speaking about her new book and a recent speach she made (I think, there were two kids in the room). I DID catch one suprising/intriquing tidbit though in the 5 minutes I watched. She spoke, hold-back tears, about a lesson she has just learned at the age of 51. The lesson she learned was that MS was not defined by what she did. She had grown up in the Kennedy family who she says had the philosophy of "go, go, go, do, do, do, be, be, be something important." When she lost her job as a TV journalist and became "1st lady" to the Governor of California she went through an identity crisis. She was no longer the one in the spotlight...she was playing 2nd-fiddle and she did not know how to exist that way. Eventually she learned how to BE mother, to really get to know her children, to listen, to be a mother to HER ailing mom, to listen, to just be.
I thought, how sad. This is a lady of many wordly accomplishments, fame, fortune and she had gone 51 years of her life thinking those things define her. How sad.
I am SO thankful, so blessed beyond measure that I had parents who loved me no matter if I succeeded or failed, parents who pushed me to never be lazy, to be a productive member of society, but to never let my job or success or other people define me and be my worth. AND, I have faith in a God who preaches that the last will be first and that the greatest in Heaven will be the weakest in the eyes of the world. THANK GOD I learned this lesson, and I still have the rest of my life to live with that wisdom.
I am not my resume. I am not my accomplishments. I am not defined by how people regard me. I am a daughter, a wife, and a beautiful, loved child of God.

Girlfriend, writing, and peace.

My attitude about life and things has been really smooth lately. Smooth is the only word I can use to describe it. Circumstances in my life have been rather up and down with job-issues, but everything else is simply peaceful. I spent 3 days with a good girlfriend of mine shopping, writing a song, walking and discussing the frivolity of our circumstances and situations. It was good. It was good to have a friend to shop with me in stores that are my favorites and have her immediately understand why I love them. Silly? Maybe, but wonderful. It was good to write a song with no pressure for greatness, just simplicity, under-analyzing every lyric. It was good to have her here during a week that I got some more bad news from the church where I work. Good to have another sounding-board.
At the end of last week, Nick and I went up to Gatlinburg to spend a few days relaxing with my parents at the end of their week vacation. Nick and dad continued to bond over boy-stuff in the BassPro Shop and beer tastings at a brewery. Mom and I shopped for clothes and jewelry and such and the rain didn't get in the way of our night spent in the hot-tub or our meandering down mainstreet. No real fussing or pressure or nagging which sometimes comes with visits from out-of-town parents/in-laws. Just smoothness. Peace.
I think I am settling in to living. In the moment.
I'm almost to the year mark of my marriage and things are wonderfully joyful and peaceful in our simple lives. Even amongst the junk that life keeps throwing my way, I am content. I have this underlying peace even when tears fall and anxieties creep in. It's all gonna be okay. Just live.