Sunday, November 4, 2007

Where do we go?

I get antsy when I'm in one place for too long. Or at least that's how it seems looking back on my life. At age 26 I have lived in 4 cities in 4 different states for over a year in each place. KY, NJ, TN, and AL. Two weeks ago I celebrated my 1 year anniversary of living in Birmingham, Alabama. Now, I feel like reflecting and forecasting a bit....humor me.
Ahhh...Alabama. I must say, I had higher hopes but you have lived up to the stereotypes and generalizations that surround your backward state. I've found a careless, throw-your-litter-out-your-window, self-centered attitude among the working white lower and middle class. I've found a class and race separation that I naively thought no longer existed in America. The rich stay rich, poor stay poor....blacks stay in there neighborhoods, whites stay in theirs. It's also predominantly Republican. Go figure.
As Nick put it the other day "Alabama doesn't have a rich culture like some other states. Like Kentucky, they have Bourbon and horses and basketball and Henry Clay, Stephen Foster, and on and on...." To which his sister Katelyn replyed "yeah, we've got the whole gas-the-black people-thing though." (Bham was the heart of civil rights riots, etc...as if you didn't know) And, not much has changed, sadly.
But Nick and I have made a life here, serving the United Methodist Church (and hopefully Jesus and the community around us). Now, I had no connection to the Methodist church until Nick (and he was even a bit estranged from the denomination) but we have been welcomed, (hired), and loved into this community. And, now that I am starting to get settled, I start asking "so what's next?" Actually, to tell the truth, it's not that I'm settled here, it's more a feeling of unsettledness that has nagged at me since I moved here. And I can't speak for Nick, but I think he's felt it too. Who am I kidding, I know he has. I CAN speak for him. I've felt like Birmingham is temporary. How temporary is yet to be determined. But, temporary none the less. And that makes me wanna take some time to evaluate and plan the next steps of our lives.
So, do we move to Orlando and plug into the thriving arts and hip young adult community there? Do we move back to Nashville? Is there anything more for us there than when we left? Do we move to KY, my home where my dear parents of this only-child live and miss me? Where would we work there? Or, do we stay put....in Bham....indefinitely....and let the nag make it's home in our hearts?
It seems like decisions carry more weight now than they used to. Before it was just me, trying to make a life for myself, picking up truths, friends, and experiences along the way. Now, I am a WE. And one day this WE will be a family of 3 or 4. So, the decisions we make now will define our future and the future of others! That is huge! I can't make those kind of decisions on my own. So I pray, to a God who has always guided and cared for me, that He will continue the work He is doing in me and through me....wherever
and whenever....
and with whomever He wills.
Amen.

No comments: